The Devil who loved me - Episode 11
Jafar: Uche will drop you off, lemme call him. Do me well to send my best regards to Abayomi and Timi.
Me: you keep mentioning Timi, what’s that about?
Jafar: they are both members of your team, is there any reason why you are touchy about him?
I shrugged.
Me: Uche is taking forever, where can I get a cab around?
Jafar: lemme drop you off.
I didn’t know if I wanted that, being associated with a cultist or Confra as he calls it especially during the election period. But instead of saying no, I followed him to his Benz.
The car moved like him, quiet and efficient. He had a marc Anthony cd on. The track playing was “when you sang to me”. Unfortunately….very unfortunately…I liked the song.
‘of all the words you said to me about life, the truth and being free, yea..you sang to me’
I sang along shamelessly. He would look at me sometimes and giggle. The ride was almost feeling like a normal one until I noticed the Volvo that was following us through the rear mirror, same Volvo that carried off Acho’s sorry a-s.
Me: your goons are following us?
Jafar: you also have a problem with my guys following me?
Me: what are you…Mr president?
Jafar: I am number 1
He said it so casually, that I couldn’t even condemn him. But my mind went through stories I have heard about what it takes to be number 1. I looked at his hand and wondered the evil he had done. I wondered how they hurt him during his initiation…I didn’t like the imagination of people hurting him. I was getting stupid. Then we got to the front of Toun’s house.
Jafar: see you soon
Me: very funny, there is one question I wanted to ask you. Do you think we will win, like honestly?
Jafar: with everything we have invested, that’s a lot of faith don’t you think?
Me: answer my question
Jafar: we can only do our best and hope it comes out well…we will do just fine
Me: bye…thanks for the ride
Jafar: thanks for the food
Me: very funny…
I noticed the Volvo stride behind the Benz as they drove away. I walked up to the door and was about to knock when I heard Toun moan. Listening carefully, I heard the grunt of the guy straffing my friend. I waited for about 15 minutes before I knocked. I hoped it wasn’t what I thought; I hoped it wasn’t another guy. It would have crushed me if it wasn’t Abayomi. When Toun opened the door and I saw his idiotic smile smile satisfied with his booty call, I abused him.
Me: na so konji catch you reach
Abayomi: no be you kidnap my girlfriend
Me: Jafar sends his regards
Abayomi: people in Ikenne send theirs
Me: Toun, how far?
Toun: where you the one standing by the door?
Me: oh, you noticed, I though you didn’t?
Toun: I did, I was hoping it wasn’t Isaac, he is fond of eavesdropping when Abayomi comes to sleep over
Me: who is Isaac?
Toun: Landlord’s son.
Abayomi: I have to go now
Toun: ehen now, you have gotten what you came for.
Abayomi: oya lets go to my house. Spend the night
Toun: I can’t leave my friend
I brought out my tongue, Abayomi ignored me.
Me: so how is Timi?
Abayomi: he is at a Annie’s place. He fell sick on our way back. Malaria I guess.
Me: he will be sleeping there?
Abayomi: lool…why is that your biz?
Me: I am just concerned
Toun and Abayomi laughed at me.
I sang along shamelessly. He would look at me sometimes and giggle. The ride was almost feeling like a normal one until I noticed the Volvo that was following us through the rear mirror, same Volvo that carried off Acho’s sorry a-s.
Me: your goons are following us?
Jafar: you also have a problem with my guys following me?
Me: what are you…Mr president?
Jafar: I am number 1
He said it so casually, that I couldn’t even condemn him. But my mind went through stories I have heard about what it takes to be number 1. I looked at his hand and wondered the evil he had done. I wondered how they hurt him during his initiation…I didn’t like the imagination of people hurting him. I was getting stupid. Then we got to the front of Toun’s house.
Jafar: see you soon
Me: very funny, there is one question I wanted to ask you. Do you think we will win, like honestly?
Jafar: with everything we have invested, that’s a lot of faith don’t you think?
Me: answer my question
Jafar: we can only do our best and hope it comes out well…we will do just fine
Me: bye…thanks for the ride
Jafar: thanks for the food
Me: very funny…
I noticed the Volvo stride behind the Benz as they drove away. I walked up to the door and was about to knock when I heard Toun moan. Listening carefully, I heard the grunt of the guy straffing my friend. I waited for about 15 minutes before I knocked. I hoped it wasn’t what I thought; I hoped it wasn’t another guy. It would have crushed me if it wasn’t Abayomi. When Toun opened the door and I saw his idiotic smile smile satisfied with his booty call, I abused him.
Me: na so konji catch you reach
Abayomi: no be you kidnap my girlfriend
Me: Jafar sends his regards
Abayomi: people in Ikenne send theirs
Me: Toun, how far?
Toun: where you the one standing by the door?
Me: oh, you noticed, I though you didn’t?
Toun: I did, I was hoping it wasn’t Isaac, he is fond of eavesdropping when Abayomi comes to sleep over
Me: who is Isaac?
Toun: Landlord’s son.
Abayomi: I have to go now
Toun: ehen now, you have gotten what you came for.
Abayomi: oya lets go to my house. Spend the night
Toun: I can’t leave my friend
I brought out my tongue, Abayomi ignored me.
Me: so how is Timi?
Abayomi: he is at a Annie’s place. He fell sick on our way back. Malaria I guess.
Me: he will be sleeping there?
Abayomi: lool…why is that your biz?
Me: I am just concerned
Toun and Abayomi laughed at me.
Days flew past and thankfully there was no threat to my security. I moved back to my apartment after Abayomi bribed me with paid lunch for a month. The guy wanted to screw his chic and I was a hindrance, plus I was still feeling uneasy about I and Toun’s parole. Unfortunately for Abayomi though, she spent a lot of time in my house. One of those times when she spent the night, Chibuzor, my neighbor nearest to the gate became born-again. We were swallowing garri and soup when someone started shouting . i identified the voice as Chibuzor’s.
Chibuzor: Holy God, I accept this anointing, I accept this cup….my lord …my Jesus..old things are passed away..no more bad bad things.
We were laughing inside the room when we heard a crash..Chibuzor did not open his door, he broke his door and stood arms akimbo in the compound. He was shouting so loud, everybody came out of their rooms
Chibuzor: Satan is a liar, my soul belongs to Jesus, mary, peter, mark,luke Isaiah, moses, noah, Daniel, Jacob, father Abraham, Michael, aaron, Elijah,Solomon, Ezekiel…
The list of biblical names continued,…..Job, Hannah, Samson .. I noticed his girlfriend crying infront of their room, I looked at Toun bewildered only to see the mumu Laughing.
Me: what is funny?
Toun: cant I laugh again?
I ignored her and walked to Chibuzor’s girlfriend, she was scared
Me: why are you crying?
Chibuzor: Holy God, I accept this anointing, I accept this cup….my lord …my Jesus..old things are passed away..no more bad bad things.
We were laughing inside the room when we heard a crash..Chibuzor did not open his door, he broke his door and stood arms akimbo in the compound. He was shouting so loud, everybody came out of their rooms
Chibuzor: Satan is a liar, my soul belongs to Jesus, mary, peter, mark,luke Isaiah, moses, noah, Daniel, Jacob, father Abraham, Michael, aaron, Elijah,Solomon, Ezekiel…
The list of biblical names continued,…..Job, Hannah, Samson .. I noticed his girlfriend crying infront of their room, I looked at Toun bewildered only to see the mumu Laughing.
Me: what is funny?
Toun: cant I laugh again?
I ignored her and walked to Chibuzor’s girlfriend, she was scared
Me: why are you crying?
Girlfriend: someone should please help him
Me: from being born-again?
Girlfriend: which born-again? He just finished eating and started praying seriously, I joined him as a supportive girlfriend until I heard “in Ojukwu’s name I pray” I got worried but I continued with him. Then he started preaching to me.
By this time, some neighbours stood beside me to listen to her
Girlfriend: he shouted and said “ woman, you have demons in your toto, demons that have been depriving me of A, B ONLY D,E and F”.
Toun: is that true?
I gave Toun a dirty stare. Then looked at Chibuzor, he was doing push-ups, the girlfriend went to him at this point.
Girlfriend: baby why are you doing push-ups?
Chibuzor: I am not your baby, I am married to Jesus, Jezebel leave me alone.
She started crying, I realized it was getting out of hand, I immediately called Timi.
Me: hello
Timi: hello Nkem
Me: quit the crap. I need you ASAP
Timi: any problem?
Me: hurry, come with your car.
Timi came into the compound in thirty minutes. By then Chibuzor was anointing us in the compound with buckets of water, as we ran, he chased us..shouting “ Unclean spirit, LEAVE!”
Timi walked into Chibuzors room and came out with a plate of beans.
Me: you want to eat his left-over, if you are hungry, we have garri na.
Timi smiled and walked to Chibuzor’s girlfriend.
Timi: wetin una put inside the beans?
Girlfriend: nothing
Timi: have you eaten?
Girlfriend: I haven’t..
Toun started laughing loudly; a couple of hisses were rained on her
Timi: your boyfriend put over-dose of weed in the beans.
Chibuzor’s girlfriend looked puzzled, but cried on.
Me: we have to take him to the hospital
Timi: yep, give me a bucket of water..
Toun got a bucket of water and gave Timi.
As Chibuzor saw Timi approach with the water, he started jubilating
Chibuzor: I anoint with water, but he that comes after me anoints with the holy-spirit, come my lord, I am not fit to untie your sandals.
Ok…I admit I laughed at this point.
Timi Aka son of God, doused Chibuzor with the water and he became a little disoriented. He tossed Toun the keys of his car, for her to drive, while I sat in front with her and he held Chibuzor at the back with his girlfriend at the other side. Toun could drive manual, I couldn’t. Our destination was Best-care hospital. As we drove along Olopomerin road, I saw a car follow us .
A Volvo.
Me: from being born-again?
Girlfriend: which born-again? He just finished eating and started praying seriously, I joined him as a supportive girlfriend until I heard “in Ojukwu’s name I pray” I got worried but I continued with him. Then he started preaching to me.
By this time, some neighbours stood beside me to listen to her
Girlfriend: he shouted and said “ woman, you have demons in your toto, demons that have been depriving me of A, B ONLY D,E and F”.
Toun: is that true?
I gave Toun a dirty stare. Then looked at Chibuzor, he was doing push-ups, the girlfriend went to him at this point.
Girlfriend: baby why are you doing push-ups?
Chibuzor: I am not your baby, I am married to Jesus, Jezebel leave me alone.
She started crying, I realized it was getting out of hand, I immediately called Timi.
Me: hello
Timi: hello Nkem
Me: quit the crap. I need you ASAP
Timi: any problem?
Me: hurry, come with your car.
Timi came into the compound in thirty minutes. By then Chibuzor was anointing us in the compound with buckets of water, as we ran, he chased us..shouting “ Unclean spirit, LEAVE!”
Timi walked into Chibuzors room and came out with a plate of beans.
Me: you want to eat his left-over, if you are hungry, we have garri na.
Timi smiled and walked to Chibuzor’s girlfriend.
Timi: wetin una put inside the beans?
Girlfriend: nothing
Timi: have you eaten?
Girlfriend: I haven’t..
Toun started laughing loudly; a couple of hisses were rained on her
Timi: your boyfriend put over-dose of weed in the beans.
Chibuzor’s girlfriend looked puzzled, but cried on.
Me: we have to take him to the hospital
Timi: yep, give me a bucket of water..
Toun got a bucket of water and gave Timi.
As Chibuzor saw Timi approach with the water, he started jubilating
Chibuzor: I anoint with water, but he that comes after me anoints with the holy-spirit, come my lord, I am not fit to untie your sandals.
Ok…I admit I laughed at this point.
Timi Aka son of God, doused Chibuzor with the water and he became a little disoriented. He tossed Toun the keys of his car, for her to drive, while I sat in front with her and he held Chibuzor at the back with his girlfriend at the other side. Toun could drive manual, I couldn’t. Our destination was Best-care hospital. As we drove along Olopomerin road, I saw a car follow us .
A Volvo.
To be continued
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DO NOT MISS IT !!!
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